VAITAPU
29.04.2005., petak
BEZDAN
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Nema me više u tvojim molitvama, više me putem ne prate. A noć mi preti, ponoć i pusta tama, kad me se samo dohvate. Više me ne voliš, kad se vraćam nisi budna, ne goriš, gasne naša zvezda čudna, lažna srebrna stvar. Daleko putujem, vetar nudi neke rime, kupujem, pristaju uz tvoje ime, dva-tri stiha na dar. Ne slušam više šta šapućeš dok snivaš, plaši me koga pominješ. I sve si dalja, a sve mi bliža bivaš, kao da opet počinje... Ali me ne voliš, to se uvek drugom desi, govoriš, ali više ne znam gde si, da li neko to zna? Šta sam uradio? Kakva tužna humoreska! Gradio ispod gradova od peska dubok bezdan bez dna. |
- 14:48 - Ostavi svoj pecat (6) - Otisni - #
13.04.2005., srijeda
Koliko suza za malo sna
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Ja sam ti odmah na početku rekao što želim i da mislim kranje ozbiljno. Rekao sam ti da trebam odlučnu ženu koja če stati uz mene i podržati me u koju ću se moči pouzdati. Rekao sam da ću dati koliko i dobijem. Ništa ti nisam tajio i sve si o meni znala.Ako si imala dvojbi i i emocionalnih praznina zasto si to sve uopče počinjala? Ja još nemam visoke škole ali imam viziju kako ću to sve postići, život me je učio i još me uči a sve što me ne uspije uništiti me osnaži. Ne volim neodlučnost jer ona ubija volju, ja sam ti pružio ruku a ti si ju svojom neodlučnošču odbila. Ja bih mogao za tebe običi X puta oko ekvatora i ti se još ne bi odlučila. Ako ti sve ovo što sam ti želio dokazati nije dovoljnio onda me to vređa i ratužuje. Ja sam ti rekao da se sreća gradi u dvoje i jedra se drže zajedno i ODLUČNO ako ti do toga nije stalo onda se nemožeš ni boriti svom snagom. Jer prava snage dolazi iz srca jedino ona hrano tjelo i daje mu volju za borbom. Život je okrutan i surov i u toj borbi teško je naći mir i spokoj ćemu svi teže a još je teže kada se to koči. Svatko ima pravo na sreću i savakome je dana samo je pitanje kada ju nađeš dali ju želiš prihvatiti i graditi ili nastaviti dalje tražiti možda veću … Želim ti od srca sreću i da nađeš ono što ćeš odlučiti da je tvoja sreća. Svoje mišljenje zadrži za sebe to je tvoje pravo ja imam snage svoje mišljenje reći. SRETNO !!! Za tvoje gladno srce pržio se led Za samo jedan osmjeh dug je bio red Tisuću zvjezda tisuću prića Tebi nije bilo dovoljno Za tvoje gladno srce premalo je sve Za samo jedan osmjeh tražiš previše Tisuću zvjezda tisuću čuda Tebi nije bilo dovoljno Koliko suza treba za tako malo sna Tisuću zvjezda tisuću prića Tebi nije bilo dovoljno Koliko suza treba za tako malo sna Jinx (konačno na mom blogu :-) ) |
- 12:10 - Ostavi svoj pecat (5) - Otisni - #
Crna macka beli macor
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Eto tako pocinje moj dan :-) Pjevaju mi cigani draga me nevoli ... Udri udri nek se krov trese .... ijujujujuuuu :-) DOBRO JUTRO SVIJETE ETO MENE ! |
- 08:36 - Ostavi svoj pecat (2) - Otisni - #
06.04.2005., srijeda
Zbogom PAPA vidimo se ponovno :-)
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Zbogom Ivane hvala ti na svemu .... Ne zelim biti licemjeran i cviljeti za tobom usiljeno. Cuo sam za tebe prvi puta kada sam dosao na vjeronauk i casna sestra je pricala o jednom papi kojeg su meci pogodili ali nisu ozbiljno povrijedili. Tada mi nije sve to bilo pretjerano jasno jer sam dolazio na vjeronauk da bih zadovoljio roditelje bio neko vrijeme na miru i slusao ljepe price o jednom covjeku koji je umro za nas na krizu davno prije nego sto se rodio moj deda. sto sam postajao stariji i zivot postajao sve bolniji osjecao sam sve vise snagu smrti i tezinu kriza koja je podnesena za nas. Papa nam je to zelio docarati svaki dan makar sam sljedeci puta to sve dozivio kada je dosao prvi , drugi i zadnji puta u Hrvatsku. No kriz je bio uvjek tu. Koroz papu se sjecam nekih svojih davno zaboravljenih dana i bezbrizne mladosti.... Hvala ti na tome Karol ! |
- 11:27 - Ostavi svoj pecat (0) - Otisni - #
24.03.2005., četvrtak
Home Alone III :-)
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Sada vidim iz svega koliko ti znacim. Sretno malena ! ETO I opet nemogu nac rijeci od pjesme "koliko suza za malo sna" smrc a to sada bas bi palo na mjesto "kao visnja na slag" SRETAN USKRS SVIMA A NE SAMO NJIMA :-) |
- 13:30 - Ostavi svoj pecat (3) - Otisni - #
22.03.2005., utorak
normal again
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When The Old Un finished reading we all sat silent, smoking, while the dusk grew thicker in the room of the dirty little cottage. I kept shuddering, for the whole time I could see Ursula's head rolling into the basket with the sawdust, the blood spurting from the neck in a thick stream, her lovely black hair stiff and sticky with blood, the glazed eyes, wide open and expressionless, staring up at the heaven in which she had believed. I knew exactly how her warm body had twitched and finally been flung indifferently into a grave. Oh, I knew so exactly how it had all happened. I knew all the details, for I had seen it so often. Before my companions could prevent it I had undone the safety catch of my revolver and shot the wooden crucifix and the picture of the Madonna on the wall to pieces. Then I put the bottle to my mouth and emptied it at one draught. The Old Un tried to quiet me but I was in a frenzy. He had to fell me with a blow on the chin. When I came to we sat down to drink; and I drank as I have never drunk before. For days I was doped with schnapps. I put the bottle to my mouth the moment I wakened and drank till I fell over again. In the end it became too much for The Old Un. He and Porta hauled me out into the yard and put me in a trough till I had become normal again, and for the next few days they never let me sit idle for a second. I was dead tired and black and blue when I went to bed, and as soon as I woke in the morning they took me out to the trough and roused me with icy water. That helped. Slowly I began to become clear in the head again-- clear and cold and dead. |
- 11:31 - Ostavi svoj pecat (0) - Otisni - #
20.03.2005., nedjelja
Loser or not ?
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62% are cooler, and 38% are more of a loser than you. What does this mean? With this score, you are a normal individual Ratatatatatatat tttaaaaaa :-) he he he he I amm coool :-) pfarttt |
- 01:03 - Ostavi svoj pecat (3) - Otisni - #
18.03.2005., petak
SINE
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Munich, April 1943. My dear son! I have grievous news for you. You must take it with as much composure as you can, and promise me not to break down or do anything rash when you have read this. Our beloved, brave Ursula is dead. The Nazis murdered her. When you come to Munich I shall tell you all the details; till then this brief account must suffice. A famous gauleiter was to address the students at the university, but his speech was interrupted by an overt demonstration. A number of the young students were arrested and with them our beloved girl. A few days later they were brought before the People's Court and condemned to death. When the sentence was pronounced, Ursula replied: "The day is not far distant when you, our judges and accuser, will yourselves stand accused, while our comrades will be your judges. Be assured that on that day your heads will also come under the ax." That is what she said to her Nazi judges, and she will assuredly be proved right if there is any justice left in the world. I was with her the day before she was murdered and she asked me to tell you that she would go to her death with your name on her lips, and she asked you to believe in God and that you two would meet in heaven. Even the prison warders were impressed by her proud courage and they brought her many forbidden things in the last few days, though she shrank from receiving anything from people who wore the hated uniform. A friend of mine witnessed the execution of these young people and he told me that they sang a couple of the forbidden songs so that they resounded throughout the prison, and the other prisoners sang with them from all the windows. Neither threats nor blows were able to silence them, and when the last had been executed there was a thunderous roar from those in the cell windows: "Vengeance! Vengeance!" and then they sang _Red Wedding_.* [* A revolutionary song. Wedding is a district of Berlin.] Burn this letter, as soon as you have read it. I am sending it by a good friend who is going to the front near where your regiment is. I enclose a locket with her picture and a lock of her hair. Dear son-in-law, Ursula's broken-hearted mother and I have, of course, never seen you, but we ask you to come and visit us as soon as you can. We will regard you as our son and ask you to regard our home, and all that is ours, as your own. We send you our most cordial greetings and hope most profoundly that all may go well with you. May we see you here with us soon! Yours very sincerely, All my cities glowed in the thousand suns ! |
- 15:30 - Ostavi svoj pecat (2) - Otisni - #
17.03.2005., četvrtak
URSULA
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"I love you. I love you with all my heart." Big, shining tears glistened on her long lashes and ran down her cheeks. She kept her eyes shut. |
- 16:03 - Ostavi svoj pecat (1) - Otisni - #
15.03.2005., utorak
PISMO
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Munich, December 9th, 1942. My own darling! I suffer with you over the beastly unfairness that has been done to you and your companions; but do not let yourself be daunted because they have stolen your leave. Hold your head high despite the bloodhounds' filthy tricks. Before we know it this nightmare will be over and the feathers plucked from the Nazi fowl, which soon all and sundry will be wearing on their chests. I pray to God that He may hold His hand over you and protect you from all the horrors out there at the front. Although you call yourself a pagan and say you do not believe in God, I know that He loves you as well as He does the best of His priests, and when the war is over I shall be able to convince you of that and melt the hard shell of cynicism with which you poor wretches in the fowl-less units have to encompass yourselves. Remember, darling, that sooner or later there must be peace, and then all our lovely dreams will become reality. I have thought that by that time I ought to be able to have a nice practice here in Munich or in Cologne, and my great hope is that you will train as a dentist or something like that. One thing only you must promise me, that you will not stay in the army if there should be an opportunity of making a career there. In six months I shall have completed my special training as a surgeon, and then I shall begin to save for our home. I hope that I shall be able to have it all ready the day you come back. But--no. I hope it won't be as long as that before you come to me forever. I wanted you to come today. Now. Father and Mother have now grown accustomed to the idea of having a son-in-law. At first, of course, they were dumfounded, and you should have seen Father's face when I told him that you had been in prison and a concentration camp and were now in a fowl-less regiment. At first he thought I had gone mad, but when I explained a little more and told him that your "crime" was political, he accepted it without reservation and said that, as long as we loved each other, nothing else mattered. I cannot write about political developments, which I am sure you will know of, for I expect you are pretty well-informed out there. I comfort myself with the thought that, since it is not going to be so long before we two can be together for the rest of our lives, one leave does not mean all that much. Besides, leave now would also be torture, for I would be thinking the whole time that you were having to go back to it all again, and you would be thinking of that too. I am sending you with this a little gold cross. I have worn it round my neck next to my skin ever since I was a little girl, and you are to have it. Wear it, as I have done; it will protect you from all evil out there. Kiss it each evening, as I kiss your ring. Darling, darling Sven, I love you so that it makes my heart ache, and I weep with joy at the thought that we shall soon meet again, and then I shall never let you go. You are mine, only mine, mine alone. I am well aware that now and again you fall a tiny bit in love with a Russian girl, or with one of the German women you meet on troop trains, but I also know that you cannot fall in love with them in the same way as you are with me; and therefore I forgive you in advance if you kiss other women out there and find comfort for a brief while. I am not going to ask that you live like a monk--only you must promise me not to embark upon anything that you cannot tell me about. You have no idea how I cried when that wonderful friend of yours, The Old Un, wrote and told me that you had been killed. It was the loveliest though also the saddest letter I have ever read. But, shock though it was, it was nothing to that I got eleven months later when your letter came telling of how you had been a prisoner. I fainted for the first time in my life; my temperature went up and I had to spend a week in bed. It was quite a collapse. But, heavens, how happy I was! You say that you don't believe in God, but I believe that it was He kept His hand over you, because you are a very proper person, as are your friends. You have your faults and weaknesses, but you are human and purer of heart and more honest in your thoughts than many of those who are never without a rosary in their hands. Do not think that I don't share your loathing of hypocrites and those priests who are mere sanctimonious servants of masters, who do not know, or are recog nized by, the true God and genuine Christianity. But He who preaches mercy cannot help these hypocrites being there, and you must not think that by listening to what He has to say to us all you are making common cause with vicious priests. That is what I so badly want you to understand, and one day you will, I am sure of that. But now I must stop, my dear, beloved husband, and lastly let me beg you to look after yourself out there. I know that it is difficult, but don't let yourself be affected too much by that cynical indifference that is so characteristic of you front-line soldiers. Keep on believing that there is goodness to be found in the world as well. Be careful when you can; that will always help a bit toward my getting you home alive. And now may this New Year be one that brings luck and happiness to us both, and to all others. Your devoted wife, URSULA |
- 17:57 - Ostavi svoj pecat (3) - Otisni - #
11.03.2005., petak
SAN
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Pred san sam nesto zamislio nesto mi je na pamet palo sto bih trebao danas napisati na blogu i rekoh sebi zapamti to i napisi da ljudi citaju i ponesu sa sobom. A eto odnio sanak javi misli i zelje i sve se nekako ispreplelo u morsku travu i zaboravilo zasto je ostalo na zalu. Doslo je sunce i travu svojim zrakama milovati stalo dok i zadnju kaplu vode iz nje osloboilo lako Poslaje podne dogalopirao kanjanik brz i hladan podigao travu kopitima svojim i odpuhao nad pucinu ... Sto je bilo poslje sa travom nitko nezna ... mozda ju je uhvatio galeb i u svoje gnjezdo svio ili je potonula natrak u dubine mora to samo nebo zna ... A ja cu malo zato zapjevat od srca :-) Dušo moja ... Dušo moja, ja ne znam više, koliko dugo ovdje stojim, dok gledam kako liju kiše, pod mračnim prozorima tvojim! Dušo moja, i kada krenem, htjeo bih opet da se vratim, ti ne znaš da je pola mene, ostalo s tobom da te prati! Ostalo s tobom da te ljubi, kada si sama i kad je zima, jer ja sam onaj, koji gubi, i prije nego išta ima! Dušo moja, k'o kaplja vode, i ti se topiš na mom dlanu, jer stobom dođe, a bez tebe ode, stotinu dana u jednom danu! Dušo moja, ti umorna si, i bez tebe ti ležaj spremam, na nekoj zvijezdi, što se gasi, ja tražim svjetlost, koje nema! Pod hladnim nebom, ispod granja, Stavit' ćes glavu na moje grudi, jer ja sam onaj, koji sanja, i zato necu da te budim! A.D. |
- 15:31 - Ostavi svoj pecat (1) - Otisni - #
08.03.2005., utorak
CESTITKA
DRAGE BLOGERICE SRETAN VAM DAN ZENSKIH BLOGERICA :-)Od srca svim blogericama i koje se tako osjecaju zelim iskrene i duboke stvarne orgazme sa voljenom osobom u svim pozama i u bilo koje doba dana !!! VAS ITEO :-) |
- 14:54 - Ostavi svoj pecat (1) - Otisni - #
SNOVI
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Snovi me odnjeli od jave u duboko plavo more i poslje me ostavili kao skolju na zalu da se divim zori nad morem i prisapnuli mi ... Ne mozes nekoga natjerati da te voli nego samo mozes dozvoliti da te vole ... Tocno kao skoljka ... Imam jedan ispit za mjesec dana i nakon 4 godine ne ucenja i totalnog izostanka studentskih radnih navika moram se ponovo prisiliti na neke navike koje sam i prvi puta tesko prihvacao no ovaj puta to radim sa gustom. Ljepo je to receno u filmu " Fight club" U jutro ce okusiti najfiniju kavu na svijetu, kavu koju ni ti ni ja nikade necemo moci okusiti. Tako je dobar gust kada nesto cinis za sebe :-) Jos samo da mi lubaf stima .... al nemoze covjek imat sve u zivotu jel .... |
- 14:42 - Ostavi svoj pecat (0) - Otisni - #
01.03.2005., utorak
OSVRT
Sada mi palo na pamet da napravim mali osvrt na put u Hr. Samo da donekle dobijete dojam kak je to putovat vlakom itd. Mislite kaj hocete ... Isao sam opet vidjeti jednu simpatiju i vrzmale su mi se po glavi razne stvari scenariji i gluposti. Ali iskustvo i to podebelo mi je dalo naslutiti da ce biti po onom najgorem a to je pola gorko pola slatko onak nit za uzet nit za bacit. A nada uvjek iz prikrajka ti sapce milozvucne ideje kako ce sve biti ruzicasto ... E sada ja veli vama rado bih ja te ruzicaste tonove bacio pod vlak a nadi bih malo pokazao neke svoje scenarije koje mi se vrte u glavi ... Ma nije to tema o kojoj zelim pricati ... Eto konacno docekam kraj rednog vremena pa je onda trebalo ubiti jos 3 i pol sata dok ne dodze vlak i konacno nas vagon "dobar vecer" i ulazak krevetac si namestim upoznam skvadru koja je vremenom nakapala i polazak :-) Juhu Evo me Zagrebe dolazim :-) Putem skuzimo da su skoro svi kupei prazni jedino je nas pun ko sipak i uz blagoslov striceka konduktera jedan cova i ja se smjestimo u drugi kupe i tako sve je bilo ok dok se nije zapalo jedan vagon za beograd i eto ti belaja odjednom nam je cjeli vagon pun stranog svjeta .... Uz put se tom covi iz kupea rodio sin a on to sve pratio preko SMS i onda posljek saznam da je zavrsio isti faks koji ja jos nisam i da je zapeo na istom profi kao i ja. Povratak je bio malo laksi samo su se potukle dvije zene al neznam razlog i nije mi se dalo sa time zamarat a poslek je jedna stara baka ukrala 100 eura jednoj drugoj baki ili su joj namjestili neznam ali torbicu su nasli ... Najvaznije od svega je da nije usfalilo pive u oba smjera :-) Eh da u dolasku je kasnio vlak 50 minuta a u odlasku je kasnio 30 minuta sto mi je ostavilo vremena da u bitriji sansa jos suknem tri zuje standardnog ponjenja i tako pomalo drven ne skuzim do Buksa da se u vagonu ladno ko u kujinom srcu i da sam se smrzo kao go.. krastavac i tako to ... Ja sam si samo uspio nabiti slusalice na usi i samo se ove pjesme najbolje sjecam :Spalio je juli seno A Tisa nezapamćeno opala I otkrila sprud kraj šlepa Ko stvoren za njena lepa stopala Stari joj je bio lađar Polu Rumun, polu Mađar, besni ker Prema meni nikad zao Nekako je znao da mu volim kćer Bodom sitnim kao prezla Moje ime je izvezla stidljivo, Plavim koncem na gaćice i pod karner spavaćice Jedva vidljivo Skrila čamac mlada trska Koju možeš sa dva prsta poviti Molila se Bogu Suše Da što duže ne da im otploviti Tu noć je Tisa nadošla A na njoj nošnja raskošna Samo sandalice, prstenčić I u kosi venčić od ivanjskog cveća Pa ipak, nije nesreća što me se ona ne seća Ma kakvi, nesreća je što se ja nje sećam Nastavila voda rasti Nije htela naglas kasti, a znala je Drugo jutro sve po starom Al' nikad da slađe garov zalaje Zaklela me da je čekam Da će me se cela veka sećati Na promaji žar malakše... Ima l' ista lakše neg' obećati? Noć kad je Tisa nadošla... Na njoj nošnja raskošna Samo sandalice, prstenčić I u kosi venčić od ivanjskog cveća Nije nesreća što me se ona ne seća Ma kakvi, nesreća je što se ja nje sećam ... tako ti je to kad utapas tugu u alkoholu nadrapaju bubregi :-) |
- 14:29 - Ostavi svoj pecat (7) - Otisni - #
28.02.2005., ponedjeljak
LEPTIR
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Osjecam se kao nocni leptir koji je stremeci ka svjetlu spalio svoja krila na reflektoru skladista u nekoj zmazanoj industriskoj zoni na kraju svjeta ... Samo je ljubav i iskrenost bila prava a sve ostalo privid ... Dug je put do dna imat cu vremena za razmisljat ... |
- 12:02 - Ostavi svoj pecat (5) - Otisni - #
25.02.2005., petak
PETAK
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Glava me rastura i konacno je kraj radnog vremena ... jos je daleko i nikako stici i docekati. Svaki taj odlazak me podsjeti na jednu strofu jedne pjesme a ide ovako : Možda je pao trak istine u me, A možda su sanje. Još bi nam mogla desiti se ljubav Desiti-velim, Ali ja ne znam da li da je želim, Ili ne želim. Stvarno neznam vise sam toliko zbunjen I stvarno mi je svejedno Pa kud krene .... Zato cu si zapjevati malo onako samo sebi za dusu jer na ovu ojesmu mi se uvjeg grlo stegne kad krene truba onako tratatataataaaaaaaaaaa uf ubit ceme to jednom znam to al je gust :-) Uspavanka za dečaka Pričaće ti jednom možda, kako sam ja bio... Štošta... Pile moje... Pače moje malo... Mudrovaće, Badavani... Kad me nema da se branim... Da sam blizu... Ne bi im se dalo... Pričaće ti o plovidbi... Ti što nisu sidro digli... Šta sam za njih neg' ukleta šajka? Tvrdiće, sa zlobnim sjajem... Da sam drhtao pred zmajem... Gledali su oni... Iz prikrajka... Al' ti slutiš otkud bore... Trunje se u oku diglo... Olujno je tamo gore... Gde nas nije puno stiglo... Znam da sanjaš more sveća... I korake po tom doku... Ti si tamo bio... U mom oku... Pričaće ti, kojekakvi... Zloba se ko rubin cakli... Kako odjek mog osmeha ječi... Kleće se u pretpostavke... Kljuckajući, kao čavke... Moje loše prepričane reči... Brojao sam ljude s krsta... Pravila i izuzetke... Posvud promačena vrsta... Samo retki nađu retke... Znam da sanjaš vaskrsenje... Jednu siluetu plahu... Ti si tamo bio... U mom dahu... Pričaće ti jednom svašta... Boljima se teško prašta... Pile moje... Pače moje malo... Silni miševi u boci... Javiće se ko svedoci... Pustolovnog traganja za Gralom... Ne znam više, bože prosti... Dal da strepim... Il da stremim... Da to breme posebnosti... I na tebe nakalemim? Ako nije kasno već? Znam da sanjaš rimovanja... Krike... I tišinu nemu... Ti si bio svugde u mom svemu... Pile moje... Pače moje malo... Lavče moje... Balasevic. Slika dodze naknadno kada mi sjedne prafa :-) |
- 18:45 - Ostavi svoj pecat (2) - Otisni - #
Dnevnik.hr |
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Opis bloga
Tekstualni zapisi koji ce opisivati stanja i poglede doticne osobe ili ti autora Autor se ogradzuje od svih mogucih i nemogucih psihickig i fizickig ostacenja koja se mogu javiti na citaocu doticnog bloga . Kaslek: nezgul@hotmail.com
WAITAPU
Cim izades iz magle i opazis Waitapu, ne dozvoli srcu da se odvise nasladuje. Pronadi i zapamti mjesto gdje zavrsava planinski vijenac Wa, a pocinje Tapu. To ces lako otkriti. Planina koja je nekoc bila prelijepa i mila Wa, niza je od sjajne zvijezde Tapu. Tamo gdje se planine spajaju i gdje se planine spajaju i gdje Tapu nadvisuje Wa, tu pocinje tjesnac, pocinje prolaz koji te vodi u raznolike, bogate i beskrajne prostore slobodnih mora. Zuri da najkasnije o zalazu sunca budes na pocetku tjesnaca. Tada se protok vode u prolazu mijenja. Cim izade mjesec, voda ce kao rijeka poteci za tebe u povoljnom smjeru i ti ces jos prije svitanja -- ako jos budes ziv -- stici kamo si toliko zudio, s onu stranu Waitapu! Zakasnis li u tjesnac, ne znam gdje ces i kako docekati zoru! Autor: Joza Horvat |
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